Mair (they/he) | Bristol, England
Photos by Nicky Ebbage
These photos were originally intended as part of a long-term collaboration documenting the impact of hormone therapy over time.
"I've been taking hormones since late 2021. These photographs mark my 4th month on T. I've noticed lots of subtle changes, but I found the most profound change is in how much peace I have found in making this decision. I've always been aware that I didn't fit neatly within the binary and while that doesn't equate to being trans, my journey over the last twenty years has brought me to this point. As for changes, it's early days. I look pretty much the same. The biggest change is how much calmer I feel, to have finally made a decision allowing me to move forward and explore this identity further. As I enter my 40th year I'm excited to see where this takes me and I'm looking forward to learning more about myself."
"Over the years I've collected names, ones given to me and ones I've chosen for myself. Coming out as trans brought into focus how I use those names, and what a name can mean particularly in terms of relation to gender and identity. I currently use Mair which is the name given to me by my parents.
I haven't always been comfortable with my given name. In Wales it's recognisably a girls name and it made me feel uncomfortable for a long time. I was given the nickname Mush at high school and I used that name from 14 until my late 20s. I'm also known as Bill in certain friendship circles, or Gwilym which is the Welsh version. I may choose to change my name legally in the future, but I don't want to do that just because its expected of me. Personally I feel that too many things are expected of trans people, in fact all people, to conform to the gender binary whatever their assigned gender at birth. I respect whatever names and pronouns that people choose for themselves regardless of the reasons behind that."
"The opportunity to do this project with Nicky was slightly scary yet fantastic at the same time! They are a very talented person and I felt at ease in a way that is new for me, to open up and share my experiences in the hope that it resonates with others who may have had similar experiences or thoughts about their own lives."
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